Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Marriage and the Witness Stand...

Watching the idiot box, and despite managed to catch a few seconds of a commerical before we could grab the TiVo remote and skip over them. Nava says to me "Hey - I'm going to record that for you - you love that guy.". Then she asks me why I laugh so hard @ Nick from the BBC show My Family.

So I answers "Because he's the best lay-about."

And Nava asks "Excuse me, are you sure he's the best?"

Now, I can't remember what TV show or movie it was, but some actor(s) playing a lawyer once said "A good lawyer never asks a witness a question he doesn't know the answer to."

So - what's the corollary for marriage? Never answer a question until you're sure what the answer should be.

Most guys are used to the classic "Do these pants make my ass look fat?"

There's only one honest answer to the question ("It's not the pants."), but that's unlikely to be the one you should use.

Answer "No" too fast, and you're not even trying.

Best thing to do is have a heart attack, and hope that by the time you're out of the hospital, she forgot the question that triggered it.

So - to "Excuse me, are you sure he's the best [lay-about]?", I quickly answer "He's much worse than you, you at least paint."

Now - this is true, which means (a) it's unlikely to be a good choice. I also thought I was (b) defending my wife's honor to herself, as she sometimes feels like she should get a job / earn some money. But, it all falls back to not understanding what the actual intent of the question was. She wasn't thinking about herself as a lay-about, but someone else we recently saw in action.

So, the night before our 4th wedding anniversary, and I walk into one of those questions with my eyes closed.

Only good news is that I've managed to train Nava to not ask me the pants question.

Happy Anniversary, Sweetie!

1 comment:

Nava said...

...and a very happy Anniversary to you too, Oh dear husband, who steps so nicely and consistently right into traps, whether they are set or not.