Holiday Eating Tips

Got this in an eMail today, from someone I don't know. With an attachment. It made it through 2 Spam filters, and 2 Virus filters, but I'm still not opening the attachment. Didn't open the attachment, but I was tempted to, as the rest of the email was kind of funny, and written in a CherkyB kind of way.

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS:

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Or better yet, pour it in a glass and treat it as a beverage.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when y ou leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner

Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming :
"WOO HOO what a ride!"

Are you somewhere in the middle?

Thanks to SillyHumans for the heads up.

Problem with politics in the United States is the 2 parties are entrenched, and represent their more extreme followers than their majorities. To keep their 3 Sigma vocal minority happy, what WE get is either

a government which does little, when you have a president from 1 party, and a congress controlled by the other

or

a unrepresentative government, when party A controls both the presidency and congress, which does what their "core" (aka 3 sigma vocal minority) want, and ignores the majority.

Big issue is that both the Democrats and the Republicans benefit from this system, since it splits the power somewhat evenly between the two of them, and reduces the amount of pressure to really solve problems, since they can frequently blame it on only controlling 1 part of government.

But what if we break the power base of the 2 parties?

Tagging, comments and somteimes it's best to just shut up...

I knew I was going to regret it, when Nava got Blog tagged. I convinced Nava to *not* tag me, but I guess Rhonda ran out of Blog folks in our circle to tag, so she broke down and tagged me.

IMO, tagging is right up there with chain letters and urban legends. I don't pass them on. My choice.

On the good side, Rhonda's tag got me to go visit her blog, and she has a link to a very amazing picture of the Northern Lights (here - click on "Astronomy Picture of the Day")

CherkyB says this is "meta blogging", or doing a blog where all you do is point to other stuff on the net.

Yep. That's what it is. Rhonda - thanks for doing it. It's a great picture.

CherkyB - shut up. This is one of those very simple cases where if you don't like it, don't click on it. Get tagged and don't like it? Don't answer it. Got something better to blog? Just do it.

Speaking of shutting up, CherkyB - when you got Tagged, you did it, but didn't pass it on. Cool. But on the way, you decided to complain about the Blog that Nava tagged you in, saying it was "long, rambling, and difficult to read...". As opposed to your Tag-This. which I'd give a 2 out of 10 on the scale of interesting blogs.

Just slightly higher than all of those Malaysian teenagers talking about where they were hanging out with their friends. Or the stupid Lamborgini info, and the Bestest Blog of All times (link specifically not included, as I really hate that blog, and the way it hijacks the "Next Blog" button).

So, lighten up Francis. I'm sure there are folks who enjoy the Malaysian teenager blogs, the Ferrari sites, and even sometimes my blog. Lots of us enjoy your blogs quite often. When you had a funny day, or your Something Not to Do. When the best thing you've got to blog about is something you don't like on someone else's blog, it's time to just shut up.

And yes, I realize this whole post it a bit hypocritical. Like giving a kid a smack to tell him to stop hitting his brother / sister. But sometimes that's what it takes.

Spoofs on those Mac vs. PC Ads...

Thanks to Gizmodo for the link. They've got more Best of over there.

I Thought I Was Just Twisted But...

How evil are you?

I was shooting for Twisted, like SillyHumans - no hope for Angelic, like blueberry, but hey - if you're going to do something, don't do it half-assed! Or should I say, don't do it like a Republican.

Thanks to SillyHumans and blueberry for the quiz!

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Here's to kids...

This is in the MaxieC-Wise-Guy themed humor... (click once on the picture to activate, and a 2nd time to play it).

911 Holidays

Click twice on the video below to watch (once to activate, once to start video).

What will we do without DOS?

To clarify the melt down that happened yesterday at our house (see the P.S. at the end of Nava's blog), when Nava's new digital camera, a Panasonic Lumix DMC-TZ1 (need to figure out how to get paid for raving about that camera, like I did in comments on Nava's Who Needs Santa post), wouldn't download photo's for a while...

1. The problem was created by Nava
2. The problem had nothing to do with the camera
3. The length of time Nava spent trying to download is more a reflection of her tech savy than anything else
4. Scary thing is she's moderately computer literate, compared to her family and friends!

Anyway - turns out that while trying to initially download the pictures, she stopped the process in the middle. And, she wasn't copying the files from the camera to the computer, but did a cut and paste. So - when one file was done copying, and was getting removed from the camera is when she stopped the process, corrupting that file on the memory card.

Nava remembered what picture it was on when she interrupted things, and put check on the camera itself. Camera said "Bad picture - file read error", which is pretty descriptive of the whole problem.

But, then you've come to the wonders of modern technology. To make things to user friendly and idiot proof, the camera refused to allow you to select the picture, as it was corrupted. But, you can't delete the file without selecting it. Only option the camera would give you is to re-format the memory card.

Similar issue with Windows XP. You can't "delete" the file. You can select it - no problems there, but in Windows XP, you no longer really delete files, you just move them from their current folder into a trash folder. But, if you have a file who's pointers in the FAT table are corrupted, how can you move it? And without a true "delete", what can you do?

LexieV was quicker to the solution than I was (I was thinking of what software I might have to allow me to delete files "outside of Windows"), and suggested I try doing it in DOS.

Beautiful thing - launch the "Command Prompt" (aka DOS shell for people who started using computers after Windows came around), CD to the memory card and picture folder, DIR to list the file names so I can get it right, and then DEL P0000123.JPG. Gone in 1 second.

Camera was happy, and we could copy the other 200 pictures off memory card and onto the computer.

What did I learn?

1. Nava's stubborn. She thinks it's more efficient to Cut & Paste the pictures from the camera to the computer. Even after the incident, when I tried telling her it was more dangerous (since if you interrupt it while copying, you may corrupt the copy of the picture, but shouldn't harm the original), she wasn't thrilled about changing her ways.
2. Nava's stubborn. She can spend 4-5hrs trying to copy the pictures over and over the same way.
3. Nava's stubborn. She considers herself computer literate, and a bit of a hacker. Mostly because she can help her computer illiterate family and friends out. So when she runs into bigger problems, she keeps plugging away at what she knows. Which explains how she can spend 4hrs doing the same thing.

And, probably more importantly - what will we do if / when Microsoft finally removes all vestiges of DOS.

Oh yeah - there's Linux.

The Butt Horn

Scooter had a funny comment while he was doing his "death-watch" and sitting outside in the Smokers Patio, talking to me as I got my nicotene fix.

Being a svelt fella, he said maybe I need a "Butt-Horn" to help me into the seat.

Could have a travel version, to help people get into airplane seats.

Then I said it's a good thing CherkyB isn't here, or he'd say there something like "That's not what you use a butt horn for. Like a shoe horn - you don't use it to get a shoe into something, you use it for getting your foot into the shoe. So a butt horn is used for...". But, CherkyB wasn't there, so I had to be the funny guy. Scooter has his moments, but needs a prop or two.

I Google'd "Butt Horn", and saw this cute cartoon, which brings up the 3rd option for Butt Horn - tooting out a song. Of course, the song is just a bonus.

It's amazing how many Google hits you get for "Butt Horn" OR "Butt-horn" OR "Butthorn" - I got 1750, including a lot where it's used as an insult. Don't ask me, but Butt Head seems like a better insult than Butt Horn. Call me a Butt Horn and I'll just wonder what exactly you're trying to say.

And a few random words for the crawlers - blue icicle lights, random orbital sander, give peas a chance.